Lynsey has amassed a collection of tattoos and piercings over the last decade. Her body modification tips are based on personal experience.
This is for anyone who wants to know the answers to all the silly questions about tattoos that they have wanted to ask over the years.
Yes, they are silly questions. Most of these questions, when directed to someone with tattoos (particularly if you have none) can make you appear to be a condescending a******. Yeah, I won't say it here.
When asked these questions in normal scenarios, I try to remain articulate, although I can't say I have much patience (unless the questions are asked by children, because they are asking out of genuine curiosity, not because they are trying to be superior or judgmental).
Either way, read on for some cynicism and a touch of humour as I answer these questions the way I hope I remember to when I am actually asked.
1. Will You Regret Your Tattoo When You're Older?
Well, first of all, I'm not a psychic, are you? How can I predict what I will be feeling at a particular point in the future? You're the weirdo for even asking!
Secondly, I try to never regret anything, because it means that, at some point, that thing made me happy. Why regret something that made you happy?
Finally, I can only surmise that by the time I have retired, I may very well be bored of my tattoo designs. However, that can also be said about many other parts of my body. I can also expect to be sick and tired of my spare tyres as well as my wrinkles by that time!
In other words, I am not living for when I am older. I suspect that I may grow tired of them eventually, but they are part of me and will age as disgracefully as I do.
2. What Will That Tattoo Look Like When You're Older?
Absolutely badass, that's how! I can't say how well the tattoos will age, how great the colour will last over the decades or whether everything will shrivel or stretch. I can say one thing, though, I will definitely not have a blue rinse and wear a tweed coat. I will continue to rock it, even as a granny!
3. Are Your Tattoos Sore?
No, not at all. Is that what you want me to say so that you can go and get one?
Think about it; you are having needles dragged through your skin while vibrating at high speed. Of course, it is sore!
However, the pain is bearable. I would liken it to an intense friction burn. You yourself will know your own pain tolerance levels, so think about how you normally deal with pain before signing up to a 3-hour session in the ink chair.
One further thing I will point out is that your tattoo method can determine how painful it is, as well as the location of the tattoo that you want. I have had the majority of my tattoos done with a machine, and one traditional Japanese tattoo, which I fell asleep during, so I would definitely say the traditional method isn't as painful.
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4. What Do Your Parents Think of Your Tattoos?
Quite frankly, I don't care is the simple answer.
I don't feel that I need anyone to validate my life choices by liking them.
However, that being said, my parents are particularly supportive of my tattoo habit. In fact, they regularly buy me tattoo vouchers as birthday and Christmas presents, and I have only really paid for a couple of my own tattoos!
5. Aren't You Scared You'll Catch Something?
Are you? I'm guessing you use public toilets and touch public doorways regularly, then perhaps reach your hand up and rub your eyes/nose/mouth. Yup, you're now diseased, and the antibodies in your body are working hard to make sure nothing comes of it. Welcome to germs. They are everywhere.
Seriously, though, when it comes to tattoos, there is a really easy way to ensure you don't get Hep or Aids or any of that: use a decent tattooist! The parlour that I go to is immaculate- you can smell the disinfectant when you go in. The equipment is thoroughly cleaned and autoclaved, and the needles are fresh out of a packet. I have absolutely no concerns with getting a disease along with my tattoo.
If an infection is what is putting you off getting ink, do some research about the parlour and artist you are going to use. I wouldn't recommend a tattoo party or similar set up, simply because someone willing to mix tattooing with alcohol in a dingy bar surrounding could too easily let the other standards slip.
6. Why Would You Do That to Your Body?
For the same reason that you dye your hair/pluck your eyebrows/shave/wear make-up/go to the gym, you get where I'm going here.
Tattoos make me look better, in my opinion, and therefore increase my self-confidence. It may be a strange concept to you, but believe me, there are stranger things in the world!
7. How Much Did It Cost? A Bit Steep, Wasn't It?
Yep, well, you really do get what you pay for, and tattoos are no exception. I might pay a lot for my ink, but I can be assured that it will last for decades with no fade at all. One of my tattoos is already 12 years old, and is still pitch black!
Just because your mate's grandpa's dog can tattoo for £40 per hour, does NOT mean that you will get a good tattoo out of it. Please go ahead and learn this for yourself.
8. Will Anyone Hire You With That Tattoo?
Considering I have only been unemployed for 1 month of my adult life, no I am not concerned with getting a job. The great thing about my tattoos is that I can cover them with clothing.
I have looked in depth at whether tattoos should be allowed in the workplace, and have found that, basically, as long as they are not offensive or excessive (i.e. on face/ head/ hands) there should be no issue.
So again, please don't use this as an excuse not to get inked!
9. Do You Know That's Permanent?
...Sigh, yes I do.
Please feel free to comment with any other questions you have been asked over the years (tattoo related) that you really have had to stop yourself laughing out loud at. Sharing is caring!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2014 Lynsey Hart
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on July 25, 2019:
Hi Peter, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'm aherm, 30, ahermm cough. And I have absolutely no intention of stopping. I have 21 piercings that are visible too, and I did consider taking them out to look more professional, but my stubborn side kicked in. Only my own opinion of my body matters at the end of the day :)
Peter on July 25, 2019:
Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for this article. I’m 32 and recently got my second tattoo. Believe it or not it’s worse when you’re older because people kinda think you “should know better”. I do like your responses though, they’re spot on.
OCgirl on July 11, 2019:
My daughter's friend wants to get the same tattoo as my daughter, but my daughter thinks that's weird. What's a funny way to say - no
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on September 14, 2018:
Hi Destinie, I'm not a pharmacist, doctor or chemist. I don't know anything about specific products healing your tattoo, other than those that I have recommended. Sorry I can't be of more help.
Destinie on September 12, 2018:
I just got a new tattoo and I’ve been putting my Neutrogena hydro water gel moisturizer on it is that going to hurt it
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on November 30, 2016:
Great words of wisdom there. I am an addict, but unfortunately money gets in my way, otherwise I'd be covered. I have 13 large ones so far, but definitely have plenty of space to fill! Im at the stage where my arms clearly look as though im going to go for a sleeve, but there are plenty of gaps. I love my tattoos mainly because of how they look, and as you say, I don't care about who dislikes them :P Enjoy your inking!
Chanel Loock on November 30, 2016:
This post made me laugh ! I recently got my first tattoo for my 18th. My artist said she could see I was an addict in the making. Wise words because I booked my next 3 and we've started discussing a sleeve. My boyfriend loves all of my tattoos and piercings and my crazy hair colours. So honestly I don't care what people say about my tattoos. Some smoke, some drink , some do drugs , I tattoo. These are battle scars , not a foul modification . Its portraying what you feel on the inside. You're literally wearing your heart. So screw all of those who judge . We don't care
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on August 01, 2016:
Hey Mollyruth, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'm surprised people still feel the need to ask them!!! I know for some it may be a conversation starter, but noone will get very far asking such common questions that always make us answer with a roll of the eyes! And exactly!!! If you dont need to see this naked at 80, then why should you care! hahaha
Mollyruth on July 26, 2016:
I love this article!! Your answers are exactly what I say when I get asked these questions! At the end of the day it's not their body so why should they be bothered by it!
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on June 07, 2015:
That's a lovely idea :-) and I'm sure it will be one treasured forever :-)
lavenderLove from Philippines on June 07, 2015:
I will have an infinity symbol with our names on it and our wedding date...
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on June 07, 2015:
Awwwh! That's a sweet time to get inked! What will you have? I want a garter belt in light blue ink and also my wedding ring done if I ever get married! great point, tattoos that are well thought out, rather than just being done because they're trendy, will never cause regret!
lavenderLove from Philippines on June 06, 2015:
my fiance' has loads of it ..but it never was a concern to me the first time I met him..for me it is the personality of the person that matters whether he is inked or not..just so you know I am.planning to get tattooed too after our wedding...I guess you will never regret of a tattoo you have of it has a meaning to you..my man has it on his back to his arms as a tribute to his dad..
Lynsey Hart (author) from Lanarkshire on October 18, 2014:
Thanks for your comments and insights fpherj48! I do think body modifications can be overdone- this is usually a symptom of body dysmorphia or something like that, but the way I see it is if it makes you happy, then it's ok!
I love that you have a tattoo! I have a lady who lives next door who didn't actually get her first tattoo until her 50th birthday! I thought that was amazing. She now has a back piece! It's so cool!
And you are right about curiosity. Curiosity I can handle... But pure contempt/ distaste hidden under a question is usually the case with the majority!
Suzie from Carson City on October 17, 2014:
You certainly have some interesting and realistic comebacks for questions people may ask. Personally, I think it's rather rude to ask questions or make unnecessary comments about something to do with a person's looks or fashion or choice in image.
Asking a question based upon interest in something is one thing, but most of the time, people are merely trying for a passive-aggressive insult.
To each his/her own. I'm a great grandmother, so believe me when I tell you that some people practically pass out if I wear something that exposes my simple (pretty) tattoo on my left shoulder. It's the only one I have and it's been there for years. I like it. I'm a very conservative kind of woman, so I think it SHOCKS people when they first see it.
I should add though ...that I really dislike OVER-done tattoos and piercings. It makes me sad actually to see some people disfigure their bodies and/or faces.
This is something that should be done tastefully.......Great hub!..Up+++